Thursday, February 2, 2012

There Is A Fountain

  Betty White was of the old-school when it came to music. I sat at the piano with her for 8 weeks before she let me even attempt at a song, because first I had to know all my notes, scales, and major chords. I thought she was crazy (she was) because I was 9, and just wanted to play the Charlie Brown song already. Her piano teacher was this staunch old woman who was born in something outrageous like 1860, so her own teaching had been much more strict and classical than even mine. Obviously, being a pastor's wife for the majority of her life, she was something terrific of a hymn player, so that's where she started with me.
   The first hymn she taught me to play was There Is A Fountain Filled With Blood. And that was the song that played on loop in my head this morning at work when I began to gush the most horrific nosebleed of all time. Who the heck gets nosebleeds? I always thought it was just the drug addicts on Intervention who get nosebleeds but nope, there was I, standing in the bathroom at work going thru what felt like an entire roll of toliet paper just in an effort to stem the tide. I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I got a nosebleed. It must've been on the monkey bars in second grade, and I think I was just as appalled then. Thad thinks its his fault, because he did smack me pretty good in the nose last night with the remote (on accident, I swear). But I disagree. This was no ordinary, oops a capillary burst! nosebleed. This was like, Rocky Balboa gave me his best right in the left nostril. Aaaaand then I was nauseous for three hours! Cute.
  I've worked in the coffee environment since I was 16. As a result, I have fielded many an angry customer phone call, but I gotta say--the one today was probably my fave. Someone called to say that they ordered two bagels with cream cheese, but what they got were these MONSTROCITIES OF A BAGEL! Just the verbage here is enough to applaud (who thinks of bagels and monsters?) but just so everyone knows, here are what the bagels we sell look like:

But here is what this person must've seen when they opened up their bag:

Seriously. Probably my favorite customer complaint, ever.

On two completely unrelated notes:

1. We are reading Wuthering Heights in one of my Critical Lit classes and I'm completely going nerd over this material. I know it was required reading sophomore year of high school, but reading it now is actually enjoyable. Why do we make 15 yr olds read this book anyhow? It opens with a dude cutting a little girls arm on glass, and the following 300 pages are violence and gore. No matter how poetically written it is, it's extremely brutal. I think most 15 yr olds miss that part somehow. 

2. Jack White is doing a solo album. Also will lose my mind over this. It's already my favorite album of all time, oops. 

3. My car is on its last leg. For the past two years I've put appx $1,000 in to it every 6 months just to keep it running. It's extremely stressful and no longer financially viable. Who knows of a good trade-in place in Phx?


Kaitlyn Facista said...

Nosebleeds are for dweebs! Tehehe. I miss you and Alex misses Thad! I like reading your blog, and it makes me miss Starbucks bagels too :(

Rev said...

Tiffany and I also feel that our cars are on their last legs. The next high-dollar fix required for either of those cars will not be fixed by us, we've decided. And, with your situation, so ends the glorious era of our parents keeping us from car payments......It was an amazing run.

Summer Pinch said...

Kaitlyn: Thad needs a golf buddy for sure. I can't believe you've only been gone a little over a month! What the heck?

Brother: They indeed were very generous beyond necessary.