The first hymn she taught me to play was There Is A Fountain Filled With Blood. And that was the song that played on loop in my head this morning at work when I began to gush the most horrific nosebleed of all time. Who the heck gets nosebleeds? I always thought it was just the drug addicts on Intervention who get nosebleeds but nope, there was I, standing in the bathroom at work going thru what felt like an entire roll of toliet paper just in an effort to stem the tide. I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I got a nosebleed. It must've been on the monkey bars in second grade, and I think I was just as appalled then. Thad thinks its his fault, because he did smack me pretty good in the nose last night with the remote (on accident, I swear). But I disagree. This was no ordinary, oops a capillary burst! nosebleed. This was like, Rocky Balboa gave me his best right in the left nostril. Aaaaand then I was nauseous for three hours! Cute.
I've worked in the coffee environment since I was 16. As a result, I have fielded many an angry customer phone call, but I gotta say--the one today was probably my fave. Someone called to say that they ordered two bagels with cream cheese, but what they got were these MONSTROCITIES OF A BAGEL! Just the verbage here is enough to applaud (who thinks of bagels and monsters?) but just so everyone knows, here are what the bagels we sell look like:
But here is what this person must've seen when they opened up their bag:
Seriously. Probably my favorite customer complaint, ever.
On two completely unrelated notes:
1. We are reading Wuthering Heights in one of my Critical Lit classes and I'm completely going nerd over this material. I know it was required reading sophomore year of high school, but reading it now is actually enjoyable. Why do we make 15 yr olds read this book anyhow? It opens with a dude cutting a little girls arm on glass, and the following 300 pages are violence and gore. No matter how poetically written it is, it's extremely brutal. I think most 15 yr olds miss that part somehow.
2. Jack White is doing a solo album. Also will lose my mind over this. It's already my favorite album of all time, oops.
3. My car is on its last leg. For the past two years I've put appx $1,000 in to it every 6 months just to keep it running. It's extremely stressful and no longer financially viable. Who knows of a good trade-in place in Phx?